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Dear blog,
Look at this place, the last post here was 19 days ago. It really is jaw-dropping how quickly things can take a turn. I'll get straight to the point: i'm shutting you down temporarily. My dad canceled the internet connection I had at home. If that isn't enough, my computer's entire hard disk went bust, bringing down some 250gb worth of stuff I had with it.
I thought I would be angry, jumping up and down. I lost everything, including some of my most prized collections. Over a thousand songs, countless number of 3d models I was working on, your blogskin code, hundreds of wallpapers, everything. Gone.
For some reason, I just hanged my head low, and life basically continued. I felt a little angry inside, but it never came out. I think i'm just used to all this shit happening at home. For once, I just went down without a fight. The anger inside me, as each day passes, simply converts a portion of itself into something else. It's sadness. Maybe i'm just managing my anger better now, but I wouldn't know. I scare myself sometimes.
There was a time I thought nothing could hold me back from this blog. I started this blog around this very same time last year, and it has been a steady rapidfire of blog entries here since, mark my words. I was so happy with this blog, this something which I finally did, something that i've always wanted. To reflect on myself, and to simply, well, archive my life somewhere. I do it for nostalgia's sake, really.
20 years down the road, I could look back at my older blogposts, and see for myself just exactly how I was, how i've been, and how I am. I think this blog is phenomenal for even myself, even if it's just a year old. I could always click on "September 2009" and compare the difference between what i've written in, say, "May 2009". Hell, i'm ready to bet every 2-3 months, there's something noteworthy that happens, something that changes the way I look at things.
I can't do this anymore. I wish I could, I really wish I do. I love sharing.
This blog has been a phenomenal success for me. More importantly, it has helped me reflect on myself, take a second look at what i've done, and help fix myself. I'm not being egoistic here, but I think i'm a ton more mature now than ever before. That wouldn't have been possible without this blog. You are good stuff, while it lasts.
With all these blog entries i've been writing here, I wanted to put an end to my diary. However, there was always something that held me back from killing my diary. I know why now. I knew this blog would just become inaccessible to me one day. This blog, you're here, and as far as you go, you're only as alive as my internet connection and computer. I lost both of them. And this isn't the first time that this has happened.
So, that means this blog is dead. It's inaccessible to me. This is what probably held me back from killing my diary. For now, until I get a brand new computer and a proper internet connection back at home, i'm reverting back to my diary. This blog is done.
I'm sorry, bloggie. I promised you a complete coverage of my Taiwan trip, which I probably will never manage to fulfill. Things took a turn for the worse too quick. If I don't happen to return anytime soon, come December 3rd, let me wish you a happy birthday in advance. That's right, you're turning 1 very soon!
As for me, my birthday is tomorrow. I'm turning 17 tomorrow. Time to grow up, a step closer to losing my youth. I really do doubt that if or not anyone would remember my birthday (or wish me happy birthday), but I think that doesn't matter. I just want my friends to stay as friends, even if they don't remember my birthday. Staying as friends is surely one of the harder parts of a friendship. The true test of relationships, is time.
As Chelsea might say, not all are built to last.Gone for now,
Ramesh
Dear blog, YAY! I am back safe and sound, in one piece from a 4D trip to Taiwan! Man, have I got loads to tell! Gear up, this one is going to be really, really long! This is going to be some serious comprehensive coverage of those 4 fantastic days (and nights) of me (and everyone else involved) in Taiwan. Here goes, right from the top. “Prolouge” As I needed to be at the airport at 8.30AM the following day, I needed to wake up really early. Given where I live, even if I woke up early, there wouldn’t be a bus that would arrive early enough which would allow me to reach the airport by 8.00am. The only way was for my dad to drop me off at the airport or so. But, my dad has to drop my sister and brother to their school first, if he was going to drive me to the airport. If he did that, we wouldn’t be able to reach the airport on time either. There were other options; I wanted to go and sleepover at Jing Wen’s place that night. I remember how early the first 242 bus was back there in Jurong: 5.30AM. It would be perfect. But, my parents didn’t allow me to go over to JW’s place. Tiffany had SMSed me earlier that day, but I couldn’t reply to her message. My prepaid’s balance had expired (prepaid is never there when you need it most, seriously.). I called her back at night, when literally my entire family was making a fuss out how I was going to reach the airport at 8:00am. After quite alot fuss, the final decision was to meet Tiffany at 6.50am at Jurong East MRT station. That way, my dad could drop me off in time to reach the airport on time, and drop my brother off to his school on time too. However, my worry was still present. I really wondered if or not my entire family could wake up at 5.00am. I woke up early enough. I was the first to wake up. I guess I was just exited. The rest of my family woke up half an hour later, at 5.30am. We left promptly after that. On the drive to Jurong East station, my dad stopped by a nearby 7-eleven, so that I could top my phone up. I called Tiffany up soon after. Nearing Jurong East, she was at Bukit Panjang. I didn’t have to wait a long time at the station though. I stood by the escalator for a while, and went up shortly after. As soon as I went up, Tiffany was there, and the train arrived. We got on, and talked the entire journey to Tanah Merah interchange away. She had a bigger luggage than me, but that’s probably because she’s a girl. On the way there, Tiffany asked me if I brought along the costume that we were supposed to wear for the Hindi dance we were putting up for the exchange student. Crap, I knew I was forgetting something when I packing my luggage. Crap, I forgot to along the present I was supposed to give the exchange students too. Actually, I think I forgot completely about the exchange students altogether. We reached Tanah Merah interchange sooner than I thought. We were rushing for time, really. 8.00am was approaching quick, and we hadn’t had our breakfast yet. At the Airport, we brisk-walked all the way. Took the skytrain to Terminal 1, and walked to our row, where we joined Willi, Vincent, and many others in preparation for checking in our luggage. Looks like we would have to skip breakfast for now. We took our first picture right there, at the luggage check-in. It was accompanied by a banner, which read something like “ITE College West Clementi Entrepreneur club Taiwan trip 2009”. We had some time before reporting to the gate for our flight, and so we had our breakfast. We ate at subway, where I finally tried the Teriyaki Chicken. I’d still take Tuna over it, but Subway is still awesome in every way. Willi and Vincent played pool in the meantime, which got pretty funny at times. Some people got…stuff at the Duty-free shopping (DFS) at the airport. I think Kellie really likes those GUCCI handbags. Nothing of interest to me, but I was blown away when I saw a 20-pack cigarette box (or something) at SGD$18! At the gate, while we were waiting for the gates to the plane to be opened, we (literally everyone) talked about what to do about me. I needed to borrow a costume for the dance. Ms Cynthia was sitting beside me at the waiting area, and this was where I would get to know that Ms. Cynthia was sitting beside me on the place, too. ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^ We were getting ready to board, so I took my handphone out to switch it off...which was when I got an SMS from Ancherle whishing me well. I thought that was really sweet of her. I was pretty nervous about the flight because it was my first time on one, but it was pretty normal. Zephyre told me on the day before that the taking off and landing was the best part about a flight. I totally agree. I loved the way the airplane picked up speed while taxi-ing on the runway to takeoff. It was epic. The flight wasn’t bad at all, and the food was alright too. I don’t get what’s up with people saying that airline food sucked. I thought it was alright. Ms. Cynthia told me that a bigger plane would be better, because you would feel less turbulence. The chat Ms. Cynthia and I had eventually died off, and we moved on to watching the shows available to us on board. We both ended up watching The Proposal, which was a pretty unique movie. It was really funny at some points too. I liked it, but like Ms. Cynthia said, that writing for that movie isn’t anything exceptional. After that movie, I continued watching other stuff. Watched a little bit of 30 Rock, Spongebob Squarepants (lololol), and listened to a couple of music albums, which included Eminem’s Relapse album, and the E.N.D by the Black Eyed Peas, and Kelly Clarkson’s “All I Ever..” Good stuff, I wasn’t expecting all these, given that were were flying on Economy Class on a Chinese Airline, China Airlines. As we were about to land, the plane began decreasing altitude, and Taiwan came into view. We could see mountains! What really flattered me, however, was the sea. The sea was gorgeous. We were blessed with clear skies that day, and the sea had a gorgeous reflection of the sun on it. If only I had a camera. As the plane landed, Ms. Cynthia commented that it was a smooth landing. I wouldn’t know, because I have never flown before. But I would agree, it was a pretty damn smooth flight. Right from the start, it was pretty evident that Taiwan was a pretty well-developed city. Right from checking out of the airport, we got unto our tour bus, which was surprisingly spacious and really comfy. Our tour guide was a young man, who claimed he was 18 years of age. He couldn’t speak English too fluently though, but at least, he tried. Majority of the people in Taiwan only know Chinese. Ms. Cynthia told me that Chinese is all they need to know, because Taiwan’s economy was better than Singapore’s, and the better economies in Asia all belonged to the Chinese countries. Along with this, I learnt that India had the most number of languages ever in a single country. …to be continued. =P
23/9/09
Day 1
24/9/09
Dear blog, as you would expect, nothing much has been happening during the holidays. It’s kinda odd actually, having a month long holiday at this time of the year. Believe it or not, we have another month-long holiday in December too. Is there even such a thing as “too many holidays”? I really am beginning to think that there are too many holidays in an academic year. But then again, this isn’t just for ITE students, but for poly students too. Some people think keeping a blog is dumb. These people do make sense – I mean, come on. Why do you have to tell the whole world your grandfather/grandmother stories? Personally, I keep this blog for myself. It isn’t for show. You’re simply an replacement for my diary, which i’ve been too lazy to write. Also, my diary could never fit it all my lengthy entries. Yeah bloggie, you’re essentially an efficient (and excellent) replacement for my diary. You’re basically my upsized diary. So, why do I keep a diary then? It’s strange, really. I’m not very fond of reading, but i’m actually kinda fond of writing. Formal writing, that is. Or rather, I have grown fond of formal writing. In any case, I think it is a good practice to keep a diary (in today’s modern age, a blog) just to reflect on yourself. I think keeping a diary/blog is really the best way to reflect on yourself for me, but different people have their different ways. I know some people who consider diaries/blogs as weaknesses. I find that strange, but you really can’t blame the rest of the world for not having the same mindset as you do. Afterall, everyone have their own ways. Or at least I hope they do. Anyway, I realize that I have yet to tell you about the Taiwan trip that I have been mentioning lately. Well, starting with the obvious, I am going to Taiwan. It’s my first time going overseas on a plane. I’m really exited, flying on a plane, and for the first time, really seeing a different side to the world around me. There is quite a load of activities that’s been lined up for us. To mention a few, mountain climbing, an exchange program with another school there, a hot spring, shopping, and bits of cultural exchange. Going to Taiwan as ETP club members, we are also learning about how the business activities are being carried out there. It all sounds exciting, doesn’t it? I pray nothing goes wrong. It’s going to be 4 short days there in Taiwan, and for the most part, I just want to have the time of my life on my first trip overseas. I’m sharing rooms with Willi and Vincent. Very cool. In fact, the lecturers were nice enough to pair everyone with just their friends to share the same rooms. Sure, it’s not the best way to keep everyone from the club going tight together as a whole, and it’s definitely not the best way to get people out of their comfort zones; their cliques. But hey, if anything, I think the people in ITE are far more receptive and open to meeting new people as compared to anywhere else. Problem solved –literally. Speaking of meeting new people, meet Ariel. She’s from SB too, but she doesn’t really mix around much with the other SB students going to the Taiwan trip. Perhaps she mixes with other people in her class, but after a very cute, loud, and enthusiastic hi from her, she was surprisingly quiet. I wouldn’t have thought she was a quiet person, but she actually is quieter than what she seems. Curious. o_O We’re putting a dance for the exchange students – a Hindi dance at that. Oh man, to think that I am going to make a fool out of myself. I hope we’re not dancing on a stage, and hopefully, not to a big group of people either. And yeah, I happen to be dancing with a girl (well, looking on the bright side, it’s better than dancing with a guy). Green club’s having a similar china trip too –but on a smaller scale, I guess (they’re flying via Tiger Airways). Ancherle’s going to china, and we were talking about the activities that we would be doing over a chat. when I mentioned the dance we were doing, she asked me to film it down! There is just 1 more practice session before we take off on the coming Thursday (24/09/09). Wish me luck dude! This is a rare and wonderful opportunity that I have. Above that, this is definitely a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Well, I should actually start packing already. I should stop hyping this up for myself (and for you), and just wait for the next “dance practice” session to be over on Tuesday, and then come Thursday, we’re off. Bon Voyage! aaaaaand continuing, I can’t say how much I’m liking the Muse’s new songs from their new album, “Resistance”. Undisclosed Desires, is, by far, my favorite track by Muse yet. I just love it so much. I love this song. It’s just really good, and the chorus is epic: Amazing, amazing, amazing song. The chorus is just so powerful. The whole song is so liquid and has this nice flow to it; it isn’t too slow, neither is it too fast. This song has a slow, quiet adrenaline that builds up from the start, and dies off nice and simple at the ending. Each time the chorus comes up, this adrenaline is fueled, and reinforced. This song, simply put, is one of the best I have in music this year, and thank god for that, because music has been crappy ever since the legendary 2007 came and vanished. But that’s not the only song i’d like to share. As everyone knows, Eminem has made an odd return to the rap music scene, with his new album, “Relapse”. I thought the overrated hit single from that album, “We Made You” was a lackluster compared to all of his other older rap songs. I made an assumption that Relapse would probably suck, that is, until I heard this song: Honestly, i’ve never felt so much depth in any rap song before. The last rap song which I heard, had actual depth to it, was by Eminem himself too. That was Mocking Bird. Basically, Eminem’s done it again. This song expresses so much emotion (mostly pain). And it’s a rap. Now, rap music never (seriously, NEVER) has any form of genuine depth or sadness to it – unless it’s by Eminem. Eminem, it’s good to have you back. Rascal Flatts has a new album too. I was curious, so I checked it out. I’m not sure if this has been released as a single yet (I certainly haven’t heard it on radio stations yet), but hell, this song is a bomb by Rascal Flatts. The whole summer spirit thing gets old (oh god, don’t remind me of HSM2), but no one does it like Rascal Flatts. This song’s a hit! (I know Ancherle likes this one) Shakira’s back to do a lil’ more of English tracks, and this is the *official* follow-up to her previous worldwide English hit, Hips Don’t Lie, which featured Wyclef Jean. Shakira usually does Latin tango, or hell, her genre’s just Tango, even IF her song was in English. But this song, “She Wolf” deviates from what she does best, and, well, Shakira’s doing a little experiment here: this isn’t a Tango song. At least, not completely. It’s more of electronic/dance mixed in. I think it’s pretty damn good. uh, I don’t recommend you to watch the official music video for this song. I’ll be honest here: the MV is horrible. The Maniac Street Preachers are back!! Nothing much to say about them though. Like most UK artists, they just do what they do. I’ve always liked UK music more than music from the US for some reason, and Maniac Street Preachers are one prime example of UK pride. Their music is mostly joyful, but sadly, that happiness in all of their songs covers up the amazing, incredible writing for their songs: Only a god can bruise fucking amazing. Need For Speed: Shift is finally out! I think the game balances nicely between the racing simulation seriousness and the arcadish elements of a game, such as being a jerk and crashing into other cars, spinning them out and trading paint. I like this game alot, really. But too bad, it’s being caught in an unfortunate between. I never saw this problem coming. Ah well, there are many people who like this game out there, including majority of critics. To me, this is the best racing simulator game out there. Fuck the other racing simulator games like Forza Motorsport, and fuck Gran Turismo. They both suck, are too serious, and are totally not fun to play. I mean, what do we play games for? to play real-life? Screw it, I want to do things in games that can’t be done in real life – games can never be realistic. I play games to unwind. If I wanted a serious racing simulation experience, i’d go to a nearby racetrack. Realism in games is overrated. I honestly think that people who prefer realistic games are missing the whole point of playing games itself – they’re missing out on a hellaload of fun. Word out,
...well, not really.
ohmegodohmegodohmegodohmegodohmegodohmegodohmegodohmegodi’m so exited i’m so hyped up I can’t wait ohmegodohmegod
The 3 tracks I like are:
1) “Uprising”
2) “Resistance” (this be the title track of the album)
3) and my personal favorite, “Undisclosed Desires”. (yes, its the title of this blogpost too)
In fact, go ahead and take a listen right now:
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask,
I want to exorcise the demons from your past,
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
Only a god can soothe
Only a god reserves the right
To forgive those that revile him
Only a god can bruise
Only a god can soothe
Only a god reserves the right
To forgive those that revile him
it’s getting mixed reviews, but thank god, majority of game critics like the game. To some players, it’s getting mixed reviews as well. In fact, this racing simulator game fails to please to either Arcade racing fans or the Racing Simulation fans. Speaking Frankly, this game is an odd mix of both!
Ramesh
