Come to think of it, I have been tearing my head over how my 80GB hard disk decided to erase itself over a restart. Well, at least something happened.

 
…about this picture? screw you, its self-explanatory.

Actually, valentine’s day and me has absolute JACK to do with each other. Probably because i’m single (and will probably always be), and I don’t think I have been really loved by anyone before. I have been confused about my relationship with some people here and there, but really, that is as far as it went. Nothing ever cleared up, and I still am lost about the impression I make on the people around me. I don’t know who or what exactly I am. Am I good? impatient? nice? sad? angry? good hearted? pleasant? irritating? trustable? smart? good-looking? I really, really don’t know. It’s a problem I wished I never faced, because I only have myself to blame for being such a optimistic bastard. As far as I know, its rare someone special comes across in my life. Someone I can be close to, and to cry my heart out, share my problems, and get help. Thinking about it, I never managed to share my problems whole-heartedly with much people at all. Its yet another problem I face. There are alot of people i’ve discovered and love, but I don’t get to discover and love one person. Anyway, even if I did share my problems, it was probably forgotten about the very next day, because he/she probably were busy with their own lives, or something along those lines. That's enough, you don't want to hear me. Back unto topic.

If you have strong connections with other countries, you will know that valentine’s day is really THE day to spend with the person you love; the person who loves you. Not your parents, not your best-of-the-best friends, but yes. That special someone. That is what valentine’s day really is. If it valentine’s day was “a day to spend with your loved ones”, then it would just be another version of Christmas, and that just retards the entire thing as a whole.

So, to me: valentine’s day is “a day to spend with your special someone” and not “a day to spend with your loved ones”. At least, that is how its like in other countries. Here in Singapore, valentine’s day has taken on a new and a very special meaning. Here, valentine’s day is almost overrated, and literally, you can smell the the love in the air on that faithful day. No kidding. I like it, because…I have a fetish for things incredibly sweet, mushy, or romantic (don’t laugh). I think its just plain nice to see people showing other people just how much they appreciate each other, especially if the people are of opposite sex. Basically, conservative Singapore…the gender gap can get pretty darn big. That’s why valentine’s day is actually a valuable day for many people here. For those who don’t celebrate it, it can almost feel like they’re missing out. These people who miss out, will probably end up saying something like “Total defense day is here!” (Read: Zhi Min! I know how you feel about valentine’s, but for the sake of the so-many-people who look forward to this the entire month of February, don’t bash valentine’s, yo.)

On valentine’s day, i’ve seen people giving lots of stuff, whatever it may be, to each other. Mainly, its girls who do this, as far as I remember. There was a year I happened to be on the MRT on valentine’s day, and I saw quite a few guys with nicely-wrapped presents in their hands, and some of them, with their girlfriends...there was this couple I saw, both of them really happy, but they didn’t look at each other at all. There were a few quick exchange of glances, but that was about it. Then, when they were about to alight, they took each other’s hands and walked quietly out of the train. I watched them as far as I could, and up till the very last moment, they didn’t even look like they uttered a single word.

That’s actually a rare sight, because although they didn’t talk at all, they were still connected with each other. How? It was love, straight from their hearts, and nothing else. Saying “OMG I LUB U SO MUCH” with absolutely no actual love at heart, isn’t going to work because, really, the heart speaks for itself. If you you’re talking to a person you hate, that person would probably know. Why? its because the heart speaks for itself.

Too bad, that’s just the case today. Most of today’s relationships I hear about are all half-hearted, and last only 3-4 months. There is little actual heart put into the relationship, there’s just brains. From their brains, they say “I LOVE YOU”, but at heart, its something else.

When the couple ends up in an argument, the girl might just say “I said I LOVE YOU, right?”...do you know why would the guy refuse believe what the girl said? Yeah, the heart speaks for itself. Put this in comparison with the couple I saw on the MRT who didn’t even speak a word, there’s really something that these half-hearted relationships can learn from. On my calendar, the quote for this month is: “A big heart is better than all the brains in the world”. How bout’ that, eh?

Maybe these people who don’t actually love the people they’re with with all their hearts are just looking for some fun, the thrill of having a relationship. Then again, no one will ever know. I’m not good at this myself...I can’t be, because i’m a failure at love. However, my point just is, true love exists. It does, and it is very much alive.

oh yeah, about my hard disk.
 
this scare’d me =(.

you know how hollywood films pictures computers becoming smarter and about how they start doing evil things to scare us humans? Yeah, this dialog box did exactly just that.

My computer is getting old, fast. And its pissing me off, because I didn’t do anything. Nothing at all, and it just HAD to fail on me. I lost Burnout Paradise, a game which I downloaded for nearly a week (thus sacrificing my time for other heavy internet usage such as playing games), my browser’s bookmarks, my animation source file for the animated banner at the top of Our Batch, a few game videos, 8 episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, the movie Ratatouille, and Windows XP. I had Windows XP installed on that disk, and now its gone. I have Windows Vista installed on my second newer (and larger) hard disk, which is what I’m using now, and while Vista runs o-kay on this PC, Vista can’t play games the way Windows XP did for nuts. It’s just butt slow speed.

Oh, and about games. I intend to start another blog, just to review games. If not, i’ll just post my game reviews here on welcome2thesocial. If I run out of time for reviewing, then i’ll just dump the idea.

I need a better computer.

...apparently the economic crisis is causing the prices of even the newest and high-end processors to drop already. The last time I checked, building a intel core i7 PC would cost $1300+, which is a okay price for such a high-end PC. Now i’ve discovered that AMD has decided to challenge Intel with the AMD phenom II, a CPU so blazingly fast, it even beat intel’s i7 in some tests. Plus, AMD is cheaper than intel. Also, given how crappy nvidia has been with their drivers, i’d go for the ATi HD 4870 for graphics instead of a 9800GTX. Again, it’s cheaper than Nvidia’s GTX 295. So, screw Intel+nvidia’s shit. I’ve got my eyes set on AMD+ATi.

Its sad, we don’t have the money at this time to get anything at all (which is why we all now live in a farm). The prices for a high-end gaming PC right now are as low as they can get. In my opinion, i’ve never ever seen any other better time to step into Sim Lim and start building a PC. I’ve been tempted to really get out seeking for a job to get some money, but I always end up staying at home, because of the fear of me screwing up at work.

uh, maybe I should start a tech review blog instead of a game review blog.

Post-script: I just realized that the key to attracting readers to a blog is continual updates. I've got a few topics for the next couple of posts already. Plus of course, my first go at a tech/game review. Stay tuned homies.